While reading today I read a few things that were extremely profound. In Ryan Holiday’s book, “Courage is Calling: Fortune Favors the Brave,” I read a chapter called, “The Scariest Thing to be is Yourself.” In another book that I am re-reading by Dr. Robert Glover titled, “No More Mr. Nice Guy,” I read that many men who suffered some type of childhood trauma hide parts of themselves from others because they are afraid of what they would think of them. What I read in these two different books go hand in hand.
I am one of these men who had childhood trauma which has led me to worrying about what others think about me. Since I worry about what people think of me I spend a lot of time hiding who I am, or who I think I am, hiding decisions I’ve made, experiences I’ve had, challenges I have gone through, and am currently going through because I don’t want anyone to think negatively about me. As far as I am concerned, everyone can just think that I am a super nice guy and everything is good with me. This is as far from the truth as it can be, but still I hide it all. Why am I hiding it all? I am scared to be me and to be honest with the world who I am and what I experience as me.
I want to find the courage to be me and not be afraid to let friends and family in on what I am dealing with on a daily basis. For so long I have been putting up a façade that all is well in my life and relationships, but that is not the truth. I have been a chameleon. To each person that I know I am someone different. I present myself different to my mom than I do to my dad, or my boss, my wife, my children, and etc. Like Ryan Holiday wrote, “the scariest thing to be is yourself.” I am going to make a change and begin to show courage by being myself and not hiding who I am any longer.
If you have lived your life like me, pretending that you live a life that is smooth and easy because you didn’t want others to judge you or worry about you, I invite you to join me in this journey. It’s lonely and exhausting not being yourself, but somehow the thought of being yourself is scarier than keeping the truth from others. Let us find our courage and finally find the peace in being ourselves.