For full transparency, I created and write in MouthGarble for my own benefit. However, if someone finds it useful, it has served a dual purpose. I often write about topics that I have found to be beneficial in my own life and writing about the subjects helps them solidify in my daily life. When I run into difficulties I do research, read, and study solutions to these problems. I then put them into practice in my life and then write about it. Today I want to discuss emotional pain.
Emotional pain and suffering is challenging. I find it to be more difficult than suffering from physical pain. At least with physical pain you can easily identify how you were hurt, what is hurting, and how to treat it. Emotional pain is not so easy. With emotional pain, you may be able to identify an event that triggered the pain, but often past events resurface and add to the suffering which adds layers of complication. Treating the emotional pain is a whole separate story. When you sprain a wrist the treatment will be the same for everyone, but this is not true with emotional injuries. What works for one person may not work for another person. Treatment for emotional suffering seems to be trial and error until the right remedy is found and put into action.
What then can we do when we are hurting emotionally until the right plan is put into action? First, do not inflict emotional suffering on others as a reaction to our own suffering. This includes the person, or persons, who we think perpetrated the harm on us. This is easier said than done. Lashing out is instinctive and, in a twisted way, seems like a quick way to ease the suffering. However, and I’m sure most of us can attest to, it may help us feel good for a time, but the pain returns and the situation has now become worse.
Second, do not try to force the emotion to go away. Our emotions are real, natural, and part of our human existence. Be mindful and recognize the emotional pain. Accept it and let it run its course. The stoics explain that everything we experience in life we were meant to experience. So, instead of rejecting the experience, realize that it is part of life and accept it. Accept that a negative event happened and our emotional reaction is natural and shouldn’t be fought.
After the emotional pain begins to subside and we can think more clearly the next step can be taken which is a little bit of self reflection. Ask yourself this question. What is within me that this event is causing me to feel this emotional pain. As I’ve said in previous posts, self reflection is some of the most challenging work we can do. It’s not easy to look within ourselves and be honest with ourselves. Sometimes we will not like what we find. However, if we do not look, a solution will not be found. The clue to relieving our pain may just be found within yourself.
The main point of this entry is to be mindful not to lash back out and make the situation worse. Realize that emotions are natural, let the emotion run its course naturally, and first take action with self reflection. After this, other actions may need to be taken. Calm conversation may need to be had, but only when both parties can communicate calmly with one another. Heated exchanges and accusations will only make things worse. We do not want to regret any actions we take.
