I have thought about the father’s role in raising children lately and mostly this is due to what appears to be an attack on boys and men. I wrote about the attack in a previous blog entry. Take a look at it if you are interested. Nevertheless, I am saddened by the treatment and view on boys high energy levels and the efforts to label boys as trouble makers and problematic. But, before I veer off topic to far let me delve into my idea about a father’s role into raising children.
I have envisioned a man’s role with his children as an arch. Imagine this arch in a chart. The left vertical line measures the amount of attention the father gives to his children. Attention represents everything that the father does for his children (i.e. time spent together, teaching, mentoring, playing, working together etc). The bottom horizontal line is the child’s life measured in years.
Without making this sound bad, and I am sure that someone could express this better than I, the father’s attention is minimal to the development of the newborn. The father’s role would primarily be to assist the mother in feeding, bathing, changing diapers etc. His focus would primarily be on providing for the family, but as the child grows and develops, mentally and physically, his attention to the child would grow. Time spent together with the child would increase and lessons taught, games played, mentoring would grow and develop throughout the years, but at some point the arch, which has grown in height, would have to start decreasing again.
I see the arch reaching it’s peak between the ages of 12 to 14 years of age for the child. At this point, the father begins to back off and let the child make more and more decisions for themselves using the lessons learned from their mother and father to make decisions. Throughout the years that the arch declines, the father provides guidance and mentorship and helps make small corrections to the choices his children make until they become adults. When a child becomes an adult will vary depending on the maturity of the individual child.
This is a short a simplistic view on my idea of how a father should approach raising his children. Many have their own opinions, but I am sure that we can all agree that love, patients, and understanding are all very important traits for a father to have. Most importantly, the relationship between the child’s parents is vital in raising children.
As always, TAKE IT EASY!